Satire: Local Progressive Won’t Accept Jesus Until CNN Appends (R) or (D) to His Name

How are we supposed to know whether or not to follow Jesus?


By Corly Hollis

I hear a lot of people talking about needing to accept Jesus… but I think that rushing a life-changing decision like that requires a lot of serious reflection and thought… like what if Jesus doesn’t share my political views?

It’s so much easier with guests on CNN or MSNBC, because the news stations conveniently put (R) or (D) next to the names of the person talking.

It’s really opened my eyes… because sometimes they will invite a lovely-looking woman to speak, and she will even say reasonable things… but then I see the letter, and know I’ve made a mistake.

Other times, the most obnoxious and disrespectful-sounding individuals will interrupt and name-call… but then I see the letter by their name, and I know they’re just doing what they have to do.

So can someone please tell me if it’s Jesus (R) or Jesus (D) so I can make up my mind? I’d almost rather burn in hell than receive life-saving doctrines, love, and support from the wrong folks!


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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