Satire: ExMormon DESTROYS Active Member with Brutal Comparison to an Apostle of Jesus Christ

BOOM! ROASTED!

<Satire>

By Gordo Miguel

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are terrible, and everyone knows it. Recently, many of them have been more active on social media, sharing heartfelt testimonies and standing up for the doctrine, which is very inconsiderate to those of us who have finally freed ourselves from a church no one forced us to attend and spend all our waking hours attacking the faith of others.

The other day, one of my friends found someone who announced he would be serving a full-time mission – volunteering to help a community and teach truths that lead to improvement and happiness – disgusting, right?

My friend, who I will call “Brian” because “Bryan” would be too obvious, gave a legitimate response to this message, suggesting this future missionary study the CES Letter, the holy scripture of the ExMormon community, given by revelation to one of our leaders, and stands as a pillar of unchanging guidance, despite being changed FAR MORE than the Book of Mormon. Plus, we don’t even ask you to pray about it – or about anything else – especially the Book of Mormon, because you might come to believe it.

Apparently, this was upsetting to some people who believed serving the Lord and his children was a noble undertaking. Various members viciously victimized “Brian” by telling the truth about the thoroughly debunked totally legitimate CES Letter you should never question.

Anyway, there was a bit of back and forth, but “Brian” totally DESTROYED them all with this gem:

Wow. You call yourself Christian. You’re as bad as Holland

BOOM!

You bet those Mormons will think twice after getting compared to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, one of the most positive, compassionate, and Christlike men on the earth, whose ministry has undoubtedly brought more happiness, inspiration, motivation, knowledge, and moral guidance for humanity in just his last talk than all of the ExMo community has provided in their combined lifetimes.

….

….

OK… I just re-read my last paragraph… and… maybe I need to rethink my title…

</Satire>

Supplemental Reading: (From our friend at conflictofjustice.com)

Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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