Satire: “You Have to Pay Tithing!” Laughs Man Who Endorses Higher Taxes

Who’s laughing now?


By Bill Nude the Science Dude

There are a lot of churches out there who claim they are just trying to help people out…but at the same time require people pay 10% of their income in the form of tithing or else they can’t use churches, temples, or are otherwise limited in their religious participation. One of the biggest offenders is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

This is exactly the same as indulgences! Pay money to be saved!

The Salt Lake Temple

I mean, even though there is a long tradition in the scriptures of tithing that includes Abraham, Malachi, the early Christians in the days of the Apostles, and others – and the church actually does use its resources to help people have good places to practice their religion, including the building and maintaining of temples, the transportation of missionaries, the production of audio, visual, and physical media, the distribution of messages from prophets and apostles, and many other expenditures that help gatherings of faithful people all over the world, regardless of the wealth of the local population – it’s definitely the same as paying to go to heaven in spite of the mountain of evidence to the contrary.

This doesn’t even cover the personal spiritual benefits that come from sacrificing of oneself to support a larger effort in building a community that encourages bad men to be good men, and good men to be better men.

Never mind that tithing is 100% voluntary, or that the church only withholds fellowship or excommunicates for refusing to comply with even its most sacred statutes – It’s all an elaborate conspiracy in which their members think that they are buying salvation!

That’s why we should take away their tax-exempt status, regardless of the protections for “freely exercising” religion found in the Bill of Rights.

It’s far nobler to have the IRS storm in and seize assets of those who do not give 25% of their income to the government, who will never ever waste it on bloated bureaucracy, and always keep their spending under control…


After all, if you don’t give at least 25% of your income to the government, you deserve to have armed men come in and violently throw you in prison. Income tax is the price we pay to be saved from the IRS.


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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