Satire: Woman Shares Trauma of Current Faith Crisis

by Peggy F. Heap

I’m in the middle of what you might call a “faith crisis.” I’ve been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for most of my life, but as I’ve gotten older, some things have changed for me. I want to talk about three of these changes:

I learned that the church does not conform exactly to my political ideology. I mean, I understand the principle of agency, and I get it that it is possible for a member of the church to not vote the same way I did… but I was really shaken when I found out that the church leadership actually teaches that men and women are both important and have necessary and distinct roles within the Plan of Salvation. They should apologize for this awful stance if they want me to feel welcome!

I learned the church claims Joseph Smith was visited by an angel. I mean, where’s the evidence of that? There are a lot of members who struggle with church history, and I feel like, if it were true, God would have had Joseph Smith do something significant like translating an ancient book of scripture that we could actually read and learn for ourselves if Joseph is a prophet. I mean, why isn’t there a “Book of Mormon” to support these claims?

I learned that the area of my forehead is inversely proportional to my faith. After I quit paying tithing, I was able to share content from Julie Hanks and Sistas in Zion with my entire neighborhood by projecting it onto my forehead.

Will I stay in the church? I honestly don’t know.

Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.