Satire: Voting for Our Church Leaders is More Reliable than The Lord’s Choices

Broke: Apostles Called By God Whose Words Upset People;

Woke: Apostles Campaign For Election Among Those Who Gave America Clinton and Trump


By Staff Writer at BCC

While we at BCC love to disregard or take exception with almost every practice, policy, and doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is one idea that you’ll have to pry from our cold, coffee-stained fingers: common consent.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea…common consent does not mean what the apostles and prophets and scriptures indicate it means… it means I SHOULD GET A VOTE!

Hear me out! After General Conference, many people were hurt by President Dallin H. Oaks talking about LBGT issues. It does not matter that he was 100% correct, only that it upset people.

That’s why I will never consent to him being in the First Presidency.

Now, I know apostles are called of God…but God’s choices have been kind of questionable…right? Imagine instead if the people got to choose! We would do SO MUCH BETTER!

Voting has recently produced excellent candidates for important offices in the United States, like Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and of course Vermin Supreme.

Imagine if our apostles were as honest as our politicians!

It’s time for God to step down and let the people have their voice heard.


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

Leave a Reply