Satire: “Sola Scriptura!” Cries Pastor as He Preaches Nicene Creed and Sinner’s Prayer

Don’t remind us that our entire theology is based on a creed…

by Pastor Henry Wilson

I’m really concerned with all of these people who get involved with the Mormons… I know they prefer to be called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints… but I think that’s just a trick to convince people they are Christian.

The big problem with them is a lot of what they believe is not in the Bible. I mean, the Book of Mormon is an entirely separate book. It doesn’t matter that it does more to testify of the divinity of Jesus than maybe anything else… because it’s not the Bible.

The Bible is absolutely complete and perfect. Any person who is going around adding to the Bible is wrong.

I mean… except for the Nicene Creed… because the Bible alone was not enough to describe the nature of the Trinity. So a bunch of guys had to gather together under the authority of a political leader and figure out what God is like because the Bible made it really confusing. But that’s different. Besides that, it’s wrong for people to just add things to the Bible.

I mean… except for the Sinner’s Prayer… because the Bible alone was not enough to include an incantation a person can use to accept Jesus and be saved. The Bible simply states we have to confess with our mouths the Lord Jesus, but it doesn’t explain how… so we needed the sinner’s prayer. But besides that, it’s wrong for people to just add things to the Bible.

I mean… except for Joel Osteen’s latest book… because the Bible alone was not enough to explain how we can get the favor of God. Plus, it makes our bookstore more profitable. But besides that, it’s wrong for people to just add things to the Bible.

That’s why, whatever you do, don’t read the Book of Mormon! That’s how they get you!

Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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