By Peggy Fletcher Heap
Previously, I wrote an article about how much I don’t like #DezNat. I called them racist and alt-right so that you would agree with me, citing victims Bill and Cal.
I admit that I failed to divulge that Bill is a mentally ill man who loses arguments with himself on social media, and that Cal is a mentally ill man who is so addicted to victimhood that he lied about his own family and went after a black apologist who had the audacity to disagree with him… so combined, they are about as reliable as campaign promises before elections.
Since that time, I’ve learned some additional details with even more reliable sources that I am compelled to share.
Take Henry Baker, an energetic man who lives in an underpass in Salt Lake City.
“Oh yeah… they’re maybe 10… maybe 50 feet tall!” explained Henry as he adjusted the aluminum foil wrapped around his long greasy hair. “And they have tentacles that come out of their necks that the aliens use to get you!”
Because my own interactions were limited to social media, I could find no evidence to cast doubt on Baker’s claim that #DezNat actually consists of giant aliens with tentacles ranging 10′-50′ in height.
Grabbing people with inhuman tendrils is apparently only one of their abilities. According to Tina Jackson, who lived in a nearby underpass, they can also fly, change colors, and make flowers grow spontaneously.
“Oh yeah… after the LSD… I mean… LDS… or DezNat… whatever… they started floating in the air and sparkling with blue and red and yellow… plus the flowers were really pretty,” explained Jackson.
So even though the people on whom I relied for my case against DezNat in the original article were less than reputable, you can trust this time, I’m definitely not just finding the most outrageous things to say to get you to dislike people who believe in following the prophet.