Satire: Progmo Claims Prophetic Fallibility Inversely Relates To Compatibility With Personal Political Views

Who needs prophets when I can just follow my political beliefs?


By Theodore K. Smoothie, “Active” Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I am not afraid to question the leadership of the Church. For example, when The Family: A Proclamation to the World was released, I expressed concerns about the lack of gay marriage. I also pointed out how the prophets are just men, and capable of making mistakes.

When Elder Ballard taught, “we need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing,” I noticed something different about the words of apostles… suddenly they became INFALLIBLE BASTIONS OF TRUTH and any member of the church that did not agree with me was rebelling against the mouthpiece of God on earth.

What made the words of prophets “just the opinion of some guy” in one case and “the word of the Lord” in another case? My political views!

That’s right, the closer the prophets are to saying what I already believe, the more you should follow them. The more they say things that are not in harmony with my political outlook, the more fallible they are.

That’s why I was deeply concerned about the talk that Elder Andersen gave in April 2018… He quoted President Nelson:

I never ask myself, ‘When does the prophet speak as a prophet and when does he not?’ My interest has been, ‘How can I be more like him?’” Then he added, “My [philosophy is to] stop putting question marks behind the prophet’s statements and put exclamation points instead.”

According to my own personal research, this is ONLY good advice when the prophet says something compatible with my political views. Otherwise, get your question marks ready!


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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