Satire: Local Brother Opens Talk by Describing How He Received Speaking Assignment


In a brave a stunning move, local member Brother Jackson used the first 15 minutes of his 10 minute speaking assignment to describe the circumstances that brought him up to the pulpit.

“I was kind of nervous when I received a call from Brother Stevens in the Bishopric…” explained Brother Jackson. “And when he asked me to speak, I was like… really? But I accepted, even though I really didn’t want to and I hate speaking publicly.”

Using a pattern that resembled the stages of grief, Brother Jackson described the “emotional roller-coaster” he felt as he received the topic, and how frustrated he was that his wife could use up some time introducing them, forcing him to actually think about the gospel topic.

“And besides,” added Brother Jackson, “they say when you are asked to speak about a topic, it’s usually more for you than for anyone else…”

As the minute hand on the wall clock moved over the 1, Brother Jackson realized he had carried on past his allotted time, and could only bear a five-minute testimony – which lasted seven minutes and did not cover the assigned topic.

After the meeting, the Bishop shook Brother Jackson’s hand and thanked him for being willing to speak as ward members scrambled to get to their classes and salvage some of the time they had left.

Asked to reflect about Brother Jackson’s talk, Sister Gomez replied: “Yeah, I don’t really know what he was talking about…I just remember we skipped the closing hymn.”

Obviously, it was a moving discourse.


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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