Satire: Lemuel’s Travel Destination Review

The Valley of Lemuel is way overrated.


by Lemuel from Jerusalem

So my father decided to take us on this trip… I guess it was supposed to be some “spiritual” getaway, because he went on and on about how I should be more like this place because it was “steadfast.”

So I guess a plus about the place is the entire valley was named after me. That’s a positive touch that you don’t get from other travel destinations.

But the negatives…they really add up. It was dusty. We only had tents, no room service. The meals were RAW. That’s right… raw meat… even though we were out in the wild, we couldn’t have fires. My father wanted some book, and my brothers and I had to go ALL THE WAY HOME to get it. No services anywhere!

Even my father realized the atmosphere and ambiance were lacking, because he sent us back to recruit other people to join us… doesn’t say much about the quality of the atmosphere there, does it? We totally could have gone to Egypt and it would have been way better.

My assessment: 1/5 stars, would not go again.


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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