Satire: John Dehlin Survives Encounter With Funny Picture

We’re relieved to say that John Dehlin is at home tonight, safe and resting, with one of his families.


Local scam artist John Dehlin is recovering in his home today after a brutal encounter with a funny picture.

“I was just perusing the internet, searching for something that would let me mock and belittle members of my former church, when I got the impression danger was approaching…” explains Dehlin.

Dehlin, whose source of income is based on a relentless attack on faith, claims that a “funny picture” appeared out of nowhere on his social media feed.

“And if it were just one funny picture, I wouldn’t care, but for this to show up right after the release of videos that expose my deceptions… I just don’t feel safe when I harass members of the Church of Jesus Christ anymore…” says Dehlin.

Dehlin reports that his experience portraying himself as some kind of victim prepared him for this encounter:

“So I called 911, and after they stopped laughing at me, I filed reports with the police and the FBI. I just worry about the people who support me… like what if they start to believe the funny pictures and stop giving me money?”

Dehlin is huddled at his home, recovering from this deadly encounter with a funny picture by subscribing to various “onlyfans” accounts.


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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