Satire: Jesus Suffered for the Sins the World – But the Influences of Scientific Cis-Hetero-Normative-Patriarchal Culture May Affect His Ability to Judge

How could we possibly trust a man to judge us?


By J. N. Poser

There is a long-standing Christian tradition that at the last day, Jesus himself will judge us. For many people, this seems like a good plan, because He personally suffered for the sins of each individual. On top of this, he endured all the pain and anguish of every person so He might know how to succor his people.

BUT…what if you’re not a part of the scientific cis-hetero-normative-patriarchal culture that raised Jesus? Would you receive a fair judgment?

According to the people in my Salt Lake City-based bubble who hate the Mormon Church, who convinced me to stop paying tithing and start smoking with rolled-up pages from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet I once believed and carried everywhere, it is inappropriate for Jesus to be the judge for everyone.

Evidence shows Jesus, even on the cross, expressed concerns for his mother and offered prayers to his Father. Embracing traditional family roles obviously taints his ability to understand people with made-up genders or victims of sexism because he’s a male – which clearly makes him inferior to me.

Plus, what’s with all that “repentance” He keeps demanding. We don’t have to change for a man…even if that man offers us the opportunity to avoid awful pain and suffering if we just turn to Him and accept Him.

Finally, if Jesus’s judgment led to the call of President Oaks as an apostle and a member of the First Presidency (a man who is filled with love and who clearly helps people understand the will and word of the Lord, and who consistently testifies of Christ) then maybe we would be better off without Jesus’s judgment.

Really, I would be better at deciding who deserves to go to heaven, and who deserves to die in a car crash.


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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