Satire: Ex-member Explains He Left Church After Studying “Evidence” on Pornhub

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by Zelph on the Shelf

#DezNat types are always suggesting that people leave the church because they “want to sin.” They are never honest about looking at the evidence that stacks up against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In all honesty, stuff like horses in the Book of Mormon or the use of metal plates isn’t that big a deal… partly because there is legitimate physical evidence both of these things have existed for thousands of years, and partly because I would like to share the real source of evidence against the church: Pornhub.

I can’t help myself… studying this evidence takes a large amount of my time, and the more I study, the less things like “spiritual witnesses” or “meaningful relationships” or “self-respect” or even “basic human decency” matter.

You can tell that the church is worried about this kind of evidence… their prophet speaks out against it as “addictive” and “destructive” because he’s afraid of the effects it will have on members. And sure – ruined relationships and exploitation of innocents definitely happens with this material, but it’s a small price to pay to be *free of guilt and shame that comes from those judgmental prophets and their master Jesus Christ…

*”free of” means “numb to”

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Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.