Satire: Colon Health Expert Confirms Rightful Place of False Doctrine

“Stick that false doctrine right back where it came from,” experts warn.

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by Dr. Butts, Colorectal Surgeon

A lot of people don’t realize that digestion continues in the colon. Some things are supposed to stay there, and some are supposed to leave.

Obviously, indigestible material is meant to be expelled.

Bacteria inside the colon are meant to stay inside the colon, to help finish breaking down the material that was not absorbed in the small bowel. Additionally, water is absorbed from this material through the colon.

One other thing is supposed to stay in the colon – and it tends to surprise some of our patients…False doctrine.

That’s right! False doctrine is not meant to be expelled and flung around…I mean…we’re not monkeys at the zoo…

So please, resist whatever urges you may have to spread false doctrine. Everyone will be healthier and happier if you shove it back up where it belongs.

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Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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