Satire: Brigham Young Statue Spared By ProgMo Modesty Principle

The editors of the Salt Lake Tribune and the ProgMo mob are working feverishly to correct the oversight.


by Peggy Fletcher Stack

It is a well-known rule among women who are actively trying to change the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from being led by those called of God, to a church led by those who know better than God – progressive women, either of color OR of the Salt Lake Tribune editorial staff:

Your appearance isn’t responsible for feelings stirred up in others.

This is especially useful when talking about modesty policies in the church. It doesn’t really matter if a woman chooses to wear a floor-length long-sleeved pioneer dress or a small pair of briefs and two pieces of tape – ALL WOMEN ARE MADE BEAUTIFUL, and men are responsible for their thoughts, urges, and desires – NOT WOMEN.

Unfortunately, even though we know better about everything, we (probably a well-meaning BYU-I feminist who hasn’t learned all our ways yet) made a slight oversight: the same rule could be applied to Brigham Young.

Even though his statues, paintings, and even his printed name cause severe mental anguish, depression, and despair – apparently, his appearance isn’t responsible for stirring up these feelings.

We ask for just a little more patience from those who suffer uncontrollable urges from the mere sight of the prophet Brigham Young… we are working on a justification for this double-standard right now. Thank you!


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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