Satire: At last! Organization Promises Validation for All Choices!
Isn’t it tough when you are considering watching something inappropriate and you remember that conference talk, or the teachings of Jesus himself? Ladies, do you want to wear nothing but body paint without being asked to cover up by people at church? And men, isn’t it frustrating when the teachings of prophets recommend against guzzling coffee and shouting profanities to make up for your lack of toughness?
Finally, a service is available to help you justify all of your poor choices! Behavioral Condoning Community.
“I used to feel guilty when I consumed pornography,” says client Gordo Miguel. “But thanks to the folks at BCC, I realized that I don’t have to feel bad about it. I mean, I’m not happy, or healthy, or satisfied with my life, but I’m also not ashamed! Thanks, BCC!”
“My parents wanted me to have a good life,” explains client Becksie. “They warned me about behaviors that might make me unhappy. Well, obviously I wasn’t going to stand for that. The friendly staff at BCC helped me recognize that I could just ignore their experience and the counsel of living prophets and apostles in favor of what feels good. And for me, it’s making sure people who keep the standards are as miserable as I am! Thanks, BCC!”
“Jesus himself described a strait and narrow path that leads to life, but that seemed really exclusive,” says client Hal. “I mean, just because people do things that caused the unimaginable suffering of God’s perfect son, not to mention the harm they cause to themselves and others when they ignore the commandments of God in favor of being themselves, it’s no reason to feel bad…BCC has really helped me to find my own path, and then label it God’s path even though I completely ignore anything God says. Thanks, BCC!”
So if you have some bad behavior that needs to be condoned, just trade in your unused, undeveloped, and unwanted testimony to the people at BCC! We can’t make you feel better or prevent the consequences to bad decisions, but we can make the road to hell a bit less lonely!
Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.