Satire: Amish Computer Programmer Inspired By Progmo’s Mission Aspirations

<Satire>

by Jebediah Fuller, Amish Computer Programmer

Some people tell me that it’s a little awkward for me to be a computer programmer since my faith specifically requires me to avoid the use of technologies that are necessary for computers. The principles of self-reliance and the cultural traditions of the Amish are definitely incompatible with this vocation… and some members of my community have suggested it may not be appropriate for me – but I have been inspired!

A progmo is similarly fighting against the basic principles of his faith, using the nickname “@LatterGaySa1nt” – even though he openly rejects The Family: A Proclamation to the World and even the foundational principle of repentance, he is determined to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Some people have questioned: “will he teach the doctrine of Christ even though he doesn’t believe it?” I personally relate to this… I still identify as Amish even though I sneak onto computers and browse Twitter instead of selling potato salad with Hezekiah here in Lancaster County.

I just know that one day, I will be like other software engineers, writing code, making websites function, and creating functional web services! If Latter Gay Saint can be a missionary, why can’t I be a computer programmer?

I also don’t know why so many people seem to be so hard on him. I mean, he’s just happy, right? It’s in his nickname “Latter Gay Saint”…

What do you mean gay doesn’t mean happy anymore?

</Satire>

Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

Leave a Reply