Satire: Amish Computer Programmer Inspired By Progmo’s Mission Aspirations


by Jebediah Fuller, Amish Computer Programmer

Some people tell me that it’s a little awkward for me to be a computer programmer since my faith specifically requires me to avoid the use of technologies that are necessary for computers. The principles of self-reliance and the cultural traditions of the Amish are definitely incompatible with this vocation… and some members of my community have suggested it may not be appropriate for me – but I have been inspired!

A progmo is similarly fighting against the basic principles of his faith, using the nickname “@LatterGaySa1nt” – even though he openly rejects The Family: A Proclamation to the World and even the foundational principle of repentance, he is determined to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Some people have questioned: “will he teach the doctrine of Christ even though he doesn’t believe it?” I personally relate to this… I still identify as Amish even though I sneak onto computers and browse Twitter instead of selling potato salad with Hezekiah here in Lancaster County.

I just know that one day, I will be like other software engineers, writing code, making websites function, and creating functional web services! If Latter Gay Saint can be a missionary, why can’t I be a computer programmer?

I also don’t know why so many people seem to be so hard on him. I mean, he’s just happy, right? It’s in his nickname “Latter Gay Saint”…

What do you mean gay doesn’t mean happy anymore?


Brett Jensen manages The Ward Preacher. You can follow him on Twitter @wardpreacher.

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